If you have children, you have a more complicated divorce process with longer range consequences, so we've set up a special section, just for you.

You or your spouse must have resided in the State of California for six months and in the county where you file for divorce for three months. It takes a total of six months to get your divorce, and that's not from the day that you file - it's from the day that your spouse is notified.

California uses divorce forms that are put out by the California Judicial Counsel. They're formatted in Adobe PDF, so you've pretty much got to have the Adobe word processor on your computer if you're going to do your own divorce. The good news is that you can get a copy of Adobe Acrobat Reader for free at http://www.adobe.com/ The bad news is that it's a pretty big program so you've got a long download if you've got a regular dial up connection. By the way, we've got a section on how to use the free version of the Acrobat reader, if you've never used it before.

Now, one of the things that you need to know before you even start using the forms is that, yes, they're supposed to be standardized all over the state and, no, they aren't standardized all over the state. Here's the deal on that: the State of California puts out the standardized forms, but the county Superior Courts have some choice in how they're used.

For instance, San Diego county has been pretty much infamous for their color coding system. They want some documents on gold paper and some documents on green paper and yet other documents on pink paper. Sort of the Judicial Martha Stewarts of the state.

There are also local forms in many counties. Usually, they are what are called, "case assignment forms," which means they're cover sheets that go on top of your standard state documents. Since there are over 50 counties in California and they're constantly revising their local forms, there's no way we can put them all up for you.

So, the first thing to do, before you even start filling out your documents, is to call the Superior Court in your county and ask if they have any special, local forms that you have to fill out. While you're at it, ask if they require different colored paper for any of their forms. Most of the counties that have local forms are large counties and they'll have the forms on line, so you can just download them to your computer. Some of the larger counties will have several court branches, so you should also ask which branch you need to file your paperwork in.

While you've got them on the phone, you should also ask about the filing fee for your county. How much is it; do they accept personal checks or do you need to get a cashier's check or money order. (If you absolutely can't afford to pay the filing fee, you can fill out the pauper's oath, pauper's order, and pauper's notice from our forms section.)

The process of the divorce is fairly straight forward:

1 - file your initial paperwork, saying that you want a divorce;

2 - you prove that your spouse has been notified of the divorce;

3 - at the end of the six month waiting period, you apply to have the marriage dissolved by the court.

During that six month waiting period, you are also supposed to exchange at lease one, and possible two, sets of financial disclosures, describing exactly how much property and debt you have accumulated.

In addition to the standard state forms, you may also want to consider using a document called a Marital Settlement Agreement (MSA.) That's basically a civil contract between you and your spouse that describes exactly who's going to get what, what bills each person pays, and - if alimony is being asked or offered - how much it will be and how long it will go on. And, of course, it deals with all of the issues having to do with children, such as custody, support and visitation.

One of the great advantages of the MSA is that the judge will usually just rubber stamp what the two of you have agreed to. Another advantage is that it spells everything out in great detail, so there's much less chance of a fight. Even with all of the advantages of the MSA there are many people who don't use it, for a very simple reason: money. Many counties consider anything with the respondent's signature on it a response, and they'll charge an extra fee for filing it. To a certain extent, it's a judgment call that you have to make. If you think your spouse is likely to go out and hire a lawyer, it's certainly cheaper to pay the extra fee rather than pay for a contested case.

To get started on your divorce, you'll need to complete and file two major documents and several attachments. The Petition for Dissolution and the Summons are the two major documents.

The petition is a form that just spells out your situation to the court.  It says who you are, where you live, when you got married and when you separated, the fact that you've become incompatible with each other and the marriage is over, how you're dividing your property and debts, and whether or not spousal support is being asked or offered. And, of course, it covers all of the issues dealing with children if you have any. The Petition is used in every case.

The summons is a document that you send to your spouse, along with a copy of the petition for dissolution.  It's a fairly scary looking form.  It starts out saying, "You are being sued," and then it repeats it in Spanish, so that you can be scared in two languages at the same time.  It also has a set of restraining orders on the back of it that go into effect the second you file your divorce.  When you boil down the restraining orders, they just say, "Thou shalt not destroy or dispose of the community property, and thou shalt not snatch the kiddos and run off to Wyoming." The Summons is used in every case.

NOTE: WHEN YOU FILL OUT THE SUMMONS, YOU WILL HAVE TO INDICATE WHICH WAY YOU'RE HAVING YOUR SPOUSE NOTIFIED, BY PERSONAL SERVICE OR BY APPEARANCE, STIPULATIONS AND WAIVER.  TO UNDERSTAND THE DIFFERENCE, READ THE NEXT SECTION ON PROVING THAT YOUR SPOUSE HAS BEEN NOTIFIED.

Here are the attachments that you may have to fill out:

Declaration Under Uniform Child Custody Jurisdiction and Enforcement Act - form FL-105 - MUST be attached to all Petitions where there are children involved.

Property Declaration - form FL-160 - When you fill out your Petition, you'll see that it has very little room for listing the property that's going to be divided in the divorce. In other words, the Petition wasn't really designed very well, so they came up with this other form, the property declaration, that allows you to list more property. You use this form if you've got a fair amount of property to divide and it won't all fit on the Petition, AND you're not using a Marital Settlement Agreement. It's also used if you've got a lot of separate property that you want the court to confirm as being yours.

Property Declaration Continuation - form FL-161 - So, the Petition didn't have enough room for listing a lot of property, so they came up with the Property Declaration, which also didn't have enough room, so they came up with the Property Declaration Continuation. No, we're not kidding. Welcome to the wonderful world of California forms. If you tried listing all of your property on the Property Declaration and you still didn't have enough room, you can use the Property Declaration Continuation form.

The Income and Expense Declaration - form Fl--150 - If you are asking for alimony, you need to have one of these attached to your Petition.

Child Custody and Visitation Application Attachment - form FL-311 - This outlines who's getting custody and what visitation benefits are being granted. Use with all cases where there are children.

Children's Holiday Schedule Attachment - form FL-341(c) - This goes into great detail about who's going to have the children for how long during which holiday. Not required, but a good idea if you have a spouse who's worried that he/she is going to be cut off from the kids.

Additional Provisions - Physical Custody Attachment - form FL-341(d) - This is a form that goes into great detail about custody problems. It contains provisions for things like not exposing the children to cigarette smoke, not saying bad things about each other to the children, etc. It's normally used only when one or both of the parents are acting like idiots and they need to have it spelled out for them how decent human beings behave. You can use it if you want to, but it may cause more problems than it solves.

Child Abduction Prevention Orders - form FL-312 - Used in cases where there's a good possibility that your spouse may snatch the kids and run. If you have that kind of a situation, it is STRONGLY recommended that you hire an attorney or make an immediate appointment with your Family Law Facilitator.

So, those are the forms you'll be dealing with going in to your divorce. Jot down the numbers and then download them by going to http://divorcecalifornia.biz/forms_lite.html . You should have Adobe reader installed on your computer before you try to download them. When you click on the form and it's instructions, the documents will open in Adobe reader. There's a little floppy disk icon on the adobe tool bar that will let you save the documents to a folder on your computer. Go ahead and fill out the forms you need and then come back to this page.

At this point, you should have 4 copies of your petition, 4 copies of the summons, 4 copies of the Income and Expense Declaration (if you're asking for alimony), and, if you had extensive property to divide, 4 copies of the property declaration (and possibly the property declaration continuation form.)  You should also have 4 copies of any attachments having to do with children. Divide them into four separate packets, petition on top, attachements having to do with children under that, summons under that, income and expense declarations under that, and property declarations under that, so that each packet contains one each of all of the documents that you've prepared.

So, you have four stacks of documents, each containing a petition (and any attachments to the petition) and the summons.  If you're asking for the court to waive the filing fees, put the pauper's oath on top of that, along with the pauper's order and pauper's notice.  And, if you're using the pauper's oath, you'll also need to attach two postage paid envelopes, one addressed to you and one to your spouse. BE SURE THAT EVERYTHING IS SIGNED!

Get out a map and figure out where your court house is located. If your court won't accept personal checks, be sure to pick up the money order for the filing fee on the way to the court house.

When you get to the court house you're going to be looking for the section that handles civil cases or family law.  There will normally be a counter where you will be greeted by a deputy court clerk who will take your paper work, give it a quick scan to be sure it's alright, and then stamp all of the sets with the court seal.  The clerk will keep one set of the papers to file with the court and return the rest to you, and you're on your way.

Now, a word about court clerks.  Most of them are just like you and us:  they want to go to work and do their jobs with the least amount of grief or trouble.  There are some of them, though, who are on serious power trips.  They LIKE giving people a hard time because it makes them feel important.  As an example, California requires that all court documents be double punched at the top of the documents, so that they can fit neatly into the folders.  You might imagine that putting the papers into the folders would be the clerk's job and that punching those holes is a part of that job.  Despite that, a fair number of clerks will point you toward a hole punch they keep on the counter and require you to do it yourself.  Here's another example:  some idiots in the California legislature passed a law that all court documents must be prepared on recycled paper, despite the fact that there's absolutely no way to check on that.  If the clerk asks you if you used recycled paper, be sure and smile and say, "You betcha!"

It's also a good idea to ask if there are ANY local rules or forms that you need to be aware of when you file your paperwork.  Some clerks like to play a little passive aggressive game where they don't tell you about a rule or form and you find out you're not in compliance when you're ready to get your divorce.

Most clerks are not like that and many of them are sincerely helpful, so don't go in with a chip on your shoulder, just be cautious.  If, for any reason, the clerk rejects your paperwork, just smile, nod, and take careful notes of what needs to be changed.  Then go home, change it, and refile.

Now it's time to go on to the next step in the regular divorce:  proving that your spouse has been properly notified.