Grey Divorce - Letting Go and Starting Over!
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Grey Divorce - Letting Go and Starting Over! |
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Grey Divorce - Letting Go and Starting Over! Women
Seeking
Divorce in Higher Numbers Are
you one of those
people who have been in a long-term marriage and have now decided to
get a
divorce? Perhaps you were married at a young age and have found that as
you
matured and developed, you and your partner grew apart. Or you
recognize that
something vital is missing between you and your partner. Well, it’s
never too
late to change your mind. Surprising statistics given by the US Human
Resources
Services Administration show that Americans over the age of 55 are
divorcing in
higher numbers than ever before. In fact, census figures show that
divorce
among those over age 65 has doubled since 1980. And a recent,
nation-wide study
carried out by the American Association of Retired Persons suggests
that women
from older couple marriages between the ages of 40 and 80 seek divorce
in
higher numbers than men. A
Desire for
Freedom, Identity and Fulfillment So,
what’s behind
this new phenomenon known as Grey Divorce and why are so many men and
women
succumbing to divorce after decades of marriage? The reasons vary
between men
and women, but according to some studies, women state they have finally
reached
a breaking point and they are just no longer willing to live with or
deal with
certain behaviors. Whether it is due to having endured alcohol or drug
addiction, physical or emotional abuse, infidelity, or simply being
unfulfilled, many women are leaving relationships that cause them
dissatisfaction. And although we often hear about men leaving partners
for
younger women, many men, who are opting for late life divorce, say that
they
are bored and unfulfilled. Most of the older men who are leaving
long-term
partners are interested in finding ways to experience more life and in
fact,
the majority of them say they want an opportunity to meet someone who
can give
life more meaning. The
Common Thread of
Grey Divorce A
common thread that
seems to run between all of those men and women who are getting
divorced at a
later date is the desire for freedom, finding their identity and a need
for
greater fulfillment. Once an individual stops denying the reality of
their
situation and recognizes that their marriage of longevity is simply not
working, many are choosing to leave. However, although it’s very
exciting for
some when they think about striking out on their own, it’s still very
frightening to consider. Yet, despite the fear of starting over, and
the guilt
and consequences that may ensue, most of those who decide on divorce,
strongly
feel it is the right decision. Even for those who appear to have it all
including financial security, a career and a successful partner, the
idea of
divorce has become more and more attractive. Coming to the realization
that
regardless of society’s views on the subject, or how their children
feel about
it, older couples are willing to take a risk by creating the life they
want
rather than continuing to live the life they have. Advice
and Support
for Those Considering a Grey Divorce The
ultimate driving
force in later life divorce is simply that people want something
different. And
although divorce was once considered a stigma, that stigma is slowly
fading
away. People are tired of trying to work out relationship issues that
never
seem to get worked out and tired of feeling unfulfilled. Consequently,
for those
taking the plunge, the most important thing to consider is whether or
not they
are ready to face the world on their own. Having spoken to a number of
people
working through the challenges of divorce, especially in the later
years, it is
highly recommended that men and women try not to do it alone, but
instead
consider therapy, a support group or at the very least a good friend
who can be
supportive through the trials of divorce. A good support system can
make the
process much easier. But, once older folks have decided that their
marriage
connection is no longer viable, even if it is difficult, they are
willing to do
whatever it takes to move on to something new. Simply put, Grey Divorce
among
older folks is becoming part of the American way of life.
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